deplanement

prompt (playwriting): take a 'headline' and make it 'ripped from the headlines' a la law and order. ALSO take a 'celebrity' and throw them in there.

i'm quite proud of this one. it needs a bit of cleaning up though.

headline/ news story: http://www.usatoday.com/travel/flights/2007-01-23-airtran_x.htm
a little something you might remember if you read my other blog (aimeehateseverything)

Heroes

Heroes

PLACE: Airplane cabin, a Boeing 747, 2 colums of three seat rows.
TIME: December 24th, present day.
CHARACTERS: Doug, Karen: a couple with their 3-year old daughter, Emma
Captain, Flight Attendant 1 , Carl, Woman 1, Flight Attendant 2, Man 1, Man 2, Dr. Spock: the pediatrician and author, Teen 1, Renee: AirTran employee, Woman 2

(Lights up on DOUG, KAREN and EMMA. They are sitting in the downstage right seats. Other passengers are filing in, picking seats, etc. Everyone is tired, but conversation is loud.

CAPTAIN

(over speaker) Hello ladies and gentleman. Thank you for flying AirTran. Sorry about the delay folks. It looks like we are running about a half hour behind already, so if you could find your seats as quickly as possible, we will get you off the ground as soon as we can. Thanks again for choosing AirTran.

(EMMA is seen getting fussy. She walks around, getting in people’s way, etc)

FLIGHT ATTENDANT 1

(Over Speaker) Hello everyone, my name is Kelly, and I will be one of your flight attendants today. As the Captain just said, please find your seat as quickly as possible. Please store all large luggage in the overhead bins and keep smaller items such as coats and laptops under the seat in front of you. We have a completely full flight tonight folks, so we are going to need as much bin space as possible. If you can’t find a place for your bag, we will gladly check it for you.

CARL

You are in my seat! I paid for this seat! You’re in my seat!

(CARL is yelling at a woman in a seat)

FLIGHT ATTENDANT 2

Sir? Is there a problem here?

CARL

Yes, there is. This woman is in my seat and refuses to move.

FLIGHT ATTENDANT 2

Ma’am? May I see your ticket stub?

WOMAN 1

Absolutely.

FLIGHT ATTENDANT 2

Sir? It looks like you are in seat C, not A.

CARL

I didn’t pick an aisle seat! I never choose an aisle seat!

FLIGHT ATTENDANT 2

Sir, I’m sorry but, we are very full, so if you could just take your seat…

CARL

I’m never flying this airline again.

FLIGHT ATTENDANT 1

(Over Speaker) It looks like we have everyone checked in, if you could all please take your seats, put your chairs in their full and upright positions, and your tray tables up, we can get you on your way as soon as possible.

(There is a shuffle of people. Eventually everyone is settled except for EMMA who is hiding under her seat. KAREN is trying to get her to come out.)

KAREN

Come on honey, you need to come out. We’re going to go see Grandma! Don’t you want to see Grandma?*

EMMA

No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!

KAREN

*Emma, if you keep acting like this, Santa isn’t going to bring you any presents tomorrow.

(EMMA starts wailing)

FLIGHT ATTENDANT 2

Excuse me, ma’am? I need you to get her to sit in her seat.

KAREN

I’m trying, she won’t come out.

(KAREN tries pulling EMMA out, getting her to her lap, where EMMA struggles)

How’s this?

FLIGHT ATTENDANT 2

I’m sorry, she needs to be in the seat, with a belt on.

DOUG

Emma! You need to calm down. Calm down, Emma, honey…

(EMMA crawls across the seats and sits on DOUG’s lap, and starts hitting him while he tries to put her in the seat)

FLIGHT ATTENDANT 2

You need to get your daughter under control. We are already running very late as it is.

KAREN

I know, I know. She’s very tired, you see…

FLIGHT ATTENDANT 2

Ma’am, I don’t mean to be rude, but we all are. If you could just calm her down.

KAREN

I’ll try.

FLIGHT ATTENDANT 1

(Over Speaker) All right folks, it looks as though this flight has been overbooked. We have a family of three that is looking for seats. If anyone is willing to give up their seat on this flight, we will not only refund you the price of this flight, but your replacement flight will be complimentary. Anyone? No takers? It seems as though we have a few minutes before we can push back from the gate, if anyone changes their mind, please let one of us know.

(The FLIGHT ATTENDANTS are making their final checks. EMMA is still not in her seat.)

FLIGHT ATTENDANT 2

Ma’am? Is there anything we can help you with?

(EMMA is strggling in her mother’s lap, crying loudly)

MAN 1

Hey! Shut that kid up, put her in th’ seat so we can leave!

(There are murmurs of agreement)

MAN 2

Yeah, lady! I want to see my family before Christmas, if you don’t mind!

KAREN

I’m sorry, I’m try—

DOUG

Don’t you dare talk to my wife that way!

(DOUG tries to get out of his seat)

FLIGHT ATTENDANT 2

SIR! I urge you to sit down! And as for you two, we are trying our hardest to get you off the ground as quickly as possible. Negative comments aren’t helping.

(DOUG is standing, blocked by FLIGHT ATTENDANT 2, EMMA is smacking him)

MAN 1

Kick ‘em off!

(DR. SPOCK gets up from a seat in the back and walks to the front)

DR. SPOCK

No, I’m sure we can deal with this in a civil manner.

KAREN

Who are you?

DR. SPOCK

Dr. Spock. I wrote a book…

KAREN

Oh yes! Do help.

DR. SPOCK

What do you usually do?

KAREN

Um…

DOUG

She lets Emma have her hissy fits.

DR. SPOCK

Is that so? Do you want her to have hissy fits?

KAREN

Well, no?

DR. SPOCK

Do you want her to know right from wrong?

KAREN

Yes, but, what if I damage her—

MAN 1

I did not pay to sit on a plane/ and listen to a therapy session!

FLIGHT ATTENDANT 2

SIR! We are trying our best.

DR. SPOCK

You won’t. Trust your instict. You know how to deal with this.

KAREN

Emma! You come here and stop this right now! Come here!

(EMMA comes and slaps her mother)

Now what?

DR. SPOCK

It’s up to you. Trust yourself. You know more than you think.

(DR. SPOCK returns to his seat)

MAN 2

That was completely useless

FLIGHT ATTENDANT 2

Sir! Please keep your comments to yourself, we are trying to deal with this situation best we can.

(FLIGHT ATTENDANT 1 approaches)

FLIGHT ATTENDANT 1

Ma’am? Sir? I’ve been speaking with the Captain and our ground crew and I’m afraid we are going to have to ask you to exit the plane./ We will refund the amount of all of your tickets.

DOUG

You can’t kick us off!

KAREN

We paid for these tickets! We are staying!

FLIGHT ATTENDANT 1

I’m sorry, but you are making a disturbance and delaying the flight.

KAREN

That isn’t our fault!

MAN 1

Yes it is…

FLIGHT ATTENDANT 1

I’m sorry ma’am, but we need you to leave. Sir, if you could please exit the aircraft.

DOUG

I can’t believe this.

(The family gathers their things, EMMA is still crying and hitting her parents. RENEE has entered the plane.

FLIGHT ATTENDANT 1

If you could just follow Renee, she will take you to the gate and refund your money.

DOUG

This is ridiculous. We are never flying this airline again. And we will be filing a complaint against this whole crew.

TEEN 1

We should file one against you!

(DOUG tries to go back, scattered laughs and murmurs)

FLIGHT ATTENDANT 2

Excuse me! We will ask you to leave as well!

RENEE

Please follow me.

(DOUG, KAREN and EMMA follow RENEE offstage. The FLIGHT ATTENDANTS are returning to their spots.)

WOMAN 2

I’m going to fly AirTran all the time…

(Murmurs of agreement. One passenger starts clapping. The rest follow with thunderous applause. )



//i'm proud of this script for several reasons. first, its one of the longest i've written in a while, and it has the largest cast of characters i've worked with, not to mention i tried to work in some interruptions/ continuations (thats the *s and /s). plus, the story, which was handed to me on a silver platter known as yahoo top news, was easy to run with. enjoy!